Welcome to ‘The World Needs A Father’. Today we are looking at 'The Rite of Passage’.

It’s something that in many cultures, young people are affirmed as they move from one season of their life to another. As in the Jewish community between the age of 12 to 14, about 13 years old, there is the Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah. Bar being son, Bat being daughter. And they are released into young adulthood, become teenagers in that sense. So they're moving from being a child, to now being someone that has a more authority for their own decisions that they make. And so this ritual, in that sense, this rite of passage, is bringing them affirmation. Teaching them the desire to no longer be a child and be treated like a child, but now treated as one with more control of the decisions that they make in life.

And then the second time would be when they're about 21, there will be the Bar Barakah, which is blessing. The word Barakah is blessing, Mitzvah is commandment. And how as a 13 year old, they begin to understand the things of God. They are able to read the passages of the Word and to understand it for themselves and to obey according to what God wants them to do as a young person. And at 21, this is blessings, how God is releasing us to fulfil the call that He has on our lives. To release into full maturity, into adulthood. Alright? Or some people says knighthood.

 The rite of passage, the first part is the ceremony, number one. It’s for those about 13 years old, they are being released into what some people call teenage years. This is where they collectively grow, you know, when we understand the stages of life, we know that as a teen between 13 to 18 or 19, they are now a collection of people. They work together as groups, their groupies, in that sense. And so the main focus here is to help our children transition from being a child to becoming a ‘teamager’ or a teenager. Now, they have to develop a stronger internal locus of control versus the external locus of control that the parents played all these years. So now they're beginning to take control of their lives a bit more.

I remember when I was about 12, I received my first bicycle and um that gave me the ability to move around freely in the community. And I remember, not long after I got the bicycle, my parents asked an older cousin of mine, he take me out onto the road and we went on a journey that made me feel like I’ve come of age. And then also the other thing that they gave me was the house key and said now you have the responsibility to come and go, and so please do not lose the house key. This was an awesome responsibility to hold the house keys. And so that gave me a greater awareness that now I'm coming of age, where I take greater responsibility.

And at 21, we are being released into young adulthood. And the main focus here is the transition into adult manhood. So when the father or substitute father will invite their son into adult manhood, many to step into a sense of responsibility and capability which would make them believe that they will not carry the soul of a boy anymore, but now as an adult, as moving on.

So for us here in Singapore, many of us will celebrate our 21st birthday. I remember my daughter when she came of age when she became 21, we had a big celebration. We invited nearly all the relatives. Close to 200 people came to this birthday party of hers, because my daughter is a very social kind of person. She liked big parties. And so that was a way of saying that you have now come of age, and we want to declare to all the relatives that now she's 21, she's an adult. While my son on the other hand is a bit different. He was a more quieter person. He wasn't really interested in having this big party. And so what we did was that for me, I took him on a trip. We went on an adventure trip to the US for 2 weeks, just him and myself. And it was a very good time of being a father and son on this trip. And I let him make most of the decisions on where we go, what we do and things that he wanted to see. And that was for me, a release of him to become the man that God wanted him to be, to go and be adventurous.

Some key elements of the rite of passage. One, it’s symbolic. A symbolic ritual personifying-values, intended purpose, worth of the person. We want them to personify these values for themselves. We wanna call forth and affirm these positive character qualities that they have. We want to speak these words into them, telling them that they are beloved, telling them that they are special, telling them that we see the qualities that God has put upon them. We may also want to give them prophetic words, as in declaring the future potential, recited. Now we don't try to force this in, but as the Lord leads us to speak these words into their lives. And then also confirmation of their gender identity. That they are beautiful women, you know. That God has created them to be a mother eventually and how they are to use the inner beauty to touch the lives of others. And as a man to stand strong and to be firm and to know his values as a man.

We also want to have a pronouncement of specific personal blessings by the father and mother to be able to pray for them. I remember couple months ago when I was in South Africa, and we did this for the leaders who have never gone through their rite of passage in their lives before. And so we came and took the place of their fathers and mothers and declare, pronounce these personal blessings on them. We also wanted to release them into early adulthood and adulthood identity. Especially for those who have not had that experience in the past, even in their 30s and 40s, we can still speak into their lives, sending them out so that they would put aside childish things and begin to mature even more. So this symbolic act, symbolic gifts that we can give to them by anointing them oil and pray God’s blessing upon them.

Some symbols that we can use for the boys or men is a sword that would show them that they are warriors in Christ. Or a bridle, talk about self-control. A compass to help them find direction, a chess set that they can think strategically in their lives. Perhaps a pocket knife, about being adventurous in life, taking risk, going out there, doing things that they have never done before. Maybe a chain, passing on a legacy, that they are now to become successors of whatever the family or the father is known for. A laurel wreath that talks about victory. You know, when in ancient days, when the Olympics, when someone won an event, they were given this wreath to put on, and it symbolizes victory. And we want to speak these things into the boys and men.  And for ladies, you have the book ‘The World Needs A Father’ page 324 and 325. There are also symbols for ladies as well.

And perhaps the first sample of blessing. And this is an example of how you can pray for your sons, it’s this. ‘Father God I thank you for my son and you put your name in there. Son you are no longer a little boy. Today you become a man. You are well equipped with everything you need to fulfil your destiny as a man of God. There is nothing that you will ever need to do to become a man, because God has made you to be one. Today is simply recognizing publicly what God had intended and done for you and in you. Amen.’ And also simple things like that, and you can modify it to suit what you want to say to your son or daughter.

And there are two books that we like to recommend you, ‘The Power of A Parents Blessing’ by Craig Hill and ‘The World Needs A Father’ by Cassie Carsten. And these are the things in which we can use, books that we can read, that will help us learn to affirm them to through the rites of passage.

So today, I would like us to consider what will I have to do to start planning a rite of passage for my children, that will make an impact on their lives. It is time for us, perhaps, to – we may never have thought about doing this, but this will be something that will be helpful for them in their lives. So I encourage you think it through, re-listen to this recording or get the book and find out. You can also go to the internet and write ‘rites of passages’ and find out ideas as to how you can help your children transition from one season to another season of their lives. Thanks again for tuning in, and I pray that you will be blessed by trying out The Rite of Passage. God bless.